STEFAN ANDREW CARTER

Stefan Carter died peacefully at age 95 at his River Heights home in Winnipeg on February 8th, 2023 – or as he wanted it to be said: “He went to that Great Badminton Court in the Sky.”

He was loved so much and will be greatly missed by his sons, Andrew and Joel Carter, his beautiful daughter-in-law, Natalia Dorf, and her circle of family and friends in Uruguay and Argentina, his beautiful grandchildren, Anouk & Alec, who adored their grandfather, his niece and nephews, Sandy, David, Robert and Michael Herman and their families, Marianne Carter, stepdaughter of his beloved deceased cousin George Carter and wife Ibi, colleagues, friends and medical school classmates that are still living from the Medical Class of 1954, close neighbours and adopted family Judy Werier & Leon Fainstein, Pam Poulter & Kevin Freisen.  Stefan has 1 blood relative left, in England – the lovely  Sandra Brockman and her husband, Charlie.

He was predeceased by his parents, Janina and Waclaw Reicher, and other members of his first family in Poland who were murdered by the Nazis. He was also predeceased by his beloved wife, Emilee Naomi Carter (née Horn), from Peekskill, NY, who he met in New York City and was an artist and English Teacher.

He was orphaned as a young child and survived the Warsaw ghetto by escaping with the help of  beloved relatives outside the Warsaw Ghetto walls and kept safe in hiding by what he said was many good souls who did him good service. He would often say as well that ‘I had some luck when so many others didn’t.’ It was by the good will of the sponsoring Kitzes family of Winnipeg (Mary, Volodia, Ben, Juliette, Barry, Marcy, Diane & Joel, & Sasha Daniels), who made it possible to immigrate to Canada post WWII, with the help of Etta Brenner who met Stefan in the displaced person camps run by UNRRA, and arranged for help getting him to Canada.

After incredibly horrific years, traumatic experiences moving from Eastern Europe as a teenager, he was able to reinvent himself, reclaim his agency and appreciate so much in life. He attended the University of Manitoba, graduated from the Faculty of Medicine as a top-level student (class of 1954) — when ‘Jewish Quotas’ were still in place in Medical Schools all across Canada.  He did fellowships  at Columbia University in New York and  the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, and was director of the Vascular Lab at St. Boniface Hospital in Winnipeg for decades, with a multitude of leading-edge research, book and chapter publications in the field of Vascular Medicine — presenting internationally at conferences around the world and seen as an authority in the field. He taught and lectured at the University of Manitoba Faculty of Medicine – educating cohorts of medical students in physiology and vascular medicine for many decades including his son Joel – who was wise not to skip his father’s lectures. Stefan received and was honored in 2003 with a lifetime achievement ‘St. Boniface HeartCare Award’ by the St. Boniface Research Foundation. He retired from Medical Practice after serving the people of Manitoba for 5 decades.

Following his years of medical practice – he was a devoted husband who took care of his wife Emilee during her ill health – loyal and compassionate until her death in 2013. They both commemorated more than 50 years of marriage before Emilee died – having raised a family of two sons – imbuing them with broad experiences in sport, music, the arts, theater, love of dogs, and raised them as free-thinkers for themselves with a breadth of diverse experiences that life offers and beckons.

He lectured and presented to many groups on the horrors of the Holocaust with first-hand accounts and would often say that given the on-going terrible and horrific happenings in the world – he sadly did not hold out much hope for a species that continues to be so barbaric to its own kind. His experiences in the Warsaw Ghetto and the Holocaust are part of the Holocaust Exhibition at the Canadian Museum For Human Rights in Winnipeg. He championed their mission, was a frequent visitor, and worked alongside many Winnipeg-based projects that honour the memory of Jewish families that lost loved ones during the Holocaust. 

In spite of all the atrocities he experienced, he found joy and beauty in art, music and especially Mozart – and as an amateur musicologist he researched and wrote a beautiful, published work on the mystery of Mozart’s death. He would often repeat the phrase that ‘when the angels play for God – they play Bach. When they play for themselves, they play Mozart.’

The Manitoba Badminton Association  honoured him in 2018 with the ‘Sport for Life Award.’ He chuckled that it was not so much for his badminton proficiency versus his lucky longevity and dedication to the sport he loved. Until he broke his hip on July 8th of last summer, Stefan lived at home alone, wonderfully content and happy, being surprised he had lived that long, trying to forever be “in the moment”, playing his beloved badminton games 2x/week, shopping, connecting with friends, and continually writing (though never finished) a new book he referred to as his “Opus” and that he entitled “The Holocaust and it’s Aftermaths: A Window into Human Nature.” In 2011 he published his memoir “From Warsaw to Winnipeg – A Personal Tale of Two Cities.”

In the recent few weeks before his death, his evening habit of relishing blissfully to Mozart changed to listening solely to a 3-minute piano solo, not by Mozart - but by Chopin. The beautiful, gentle piece was named “Adieu”, or the Farewell Waltz. (Op 69, No. 1 in A Flat Major) He said it was his sign-off music.

As his daughter-in-law Natalia Dorf noted – “He was an incredible human and an example of resilience, hope and all the possibility that lives within us.”

His return to the home he loved, after his injury, would not have been possible without the compassionate, exceptional caring work of the many homecare Staff and Coordinators of Comforts of Home Care, Jessica Ness of River Heights Physical Therapy, and fitness trainer Andrew Kelinsasser – all of whom provided such wonderful support to Stefan – so much appreciated by him, Andrew and Joel. We would also like to thank the Jewish Child and Family Service organization and Adeena Lungen for the community-based support for Holocaust Survivors. Also, our eternal thanks to our Winnipeg community who offered support, visits, and healing hopes for our father. As well - our deep appreciation for the staff at Northway Broadway Pharmacy and the support of the expertise of Dr. Kevin Grace. 

In keeping with ‘Carter Family Tradition’ – there will be no funeral - but there will be an upcoming book launch of Stefan’s re-tooled new edition of his memoir, published by the Azrieli Foundation, an organization that specializes in publishing the stories of Holocaust survivors – on Monday April 17th at the Jewish Community Centre in Winnipeg.

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An article written about Stefan in the Winnipeg Free Press can be found here.

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Tribute by his daughter-in-law, Natalia Dorf

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This week an amazing human departed this side of the journey. Stefan Carter (Joel Carter and Andrew T Carter ‘s dad) died at the young age of 96. He was an incredible human and an example of resilience, hope and all the possibility that lives within us.

He was a holocaust survivor who emigrated as an orphan teenager to an adopted family in Canada as his whole family perished in the death camps or the Warsaw ghetto. You can see a picture of him embracing @anoukcarterdorf in front of his story and video in the museum of human rights when we first took the kids to see it.

I still remember when I had just moved to the US, having to recertify all my MD tests and with a lot of uncertainty about the future and he introduced me to #mindfulness stress based reduction (MBSR). Little did I know then, that it would change my life.

After incredibly horrific years, traumatic experiences moving from Eastern Europe as a teen and the many other valleys in life, he was able to reinvent himself, reclaim his agency and appreciate so much in life.

He was meticulous and exact, like many physician researchers. We would talk medicine for hours. His stories of being the only Jewish student at the time will forever stay with us.

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He was stubborn and exhausting with the confidence of those who know exactly what they want and need. Even if it is glasses with a flip shade.

He meditated every morning and did his yoga or chi gong at sunrise. He run his first Marathon in his early sixties, he played badminton until 6 months before he died at 96, he wrote and published 2 books after he retired and was onto number 3.

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He taught us what quiet but constant and enduring love is.

You will be missed Grandpa Stefan.

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Tribute by his son, Andrew Carter

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Dear friends – it’s 6am and I’m awaiting to board a flight to Winnipeg. (February 9th) Our (Joel’s and my) father died last night at 6:45pm – just before the end of Rae’s day shift – our incredible daytime homecare worker. She became an amazing friend for Stefan, of whom he once referred to as his “lifeline.” They laughed, had fun together, and Rae came to enjoy his dry sense of humour, sly winks and smiles. He shared things with her that I never knew. And during this time with her, he began to find a vocabulary to be able to feel and express his emotions – something that was shut down when his mother was taken from him in the Warsaw ghetto and sent to Treblinka, a Nazi concentration camp. Decades and decades ago I asked him what he felt when that happened. He responded, “I guess I went numb”. We are incredibly, incredibly blessed to have had Rae care for and love our Dad these last 6 months.

Since we lived so far away from him, several years ago Joel installed 2 “dad-cams” so we could keep an eye on him. To our astonishment he was perfectly fine with it. It enabled us to share bedtime with him as every night before bed he would spend a long time at his computer listening to his favourite person in the world (after family ;-)) – Mozart! During my last visit with him at Christmas he was spending only a fraction of time in front of his computer. And his habit of relishing blissfully to Mozart changed to listening solely to a 3-minute piano solo, not by Mozart (!!!!!), but by Chopin. The beautiful, gentle piece was named “Adieu”, or the Farewell Waltz. (Op 69, No. 1 in A Flat Major) He said it was his sign-off music.

Late last night, the dadcam enabled me to go back and watch the moment of his gentle and peaceful death. (Our father was vehement we don’t use the word “passing” in his obituary as “he is not passing to or through anything.”) I witnessed the care and love that was shown by the people who were there, and those that came shortly after. I debated whether to watch it… but glad I did. It really gave me peace and solace to be able to have been “there’. It was healing.

A close friend of the family and next-door neighbour of our Dad/parents for many years shared with my brother something a Rabbi said to her in a situation like this, “It’s sad, but not tragic.” The truth.

He was loved and will be greatly missed by myself and Joel, Joel’s wife Natalia Dorf, and their children Anouk & Alec, our cousins on our mother’s side, and the colleagues, friends and medical school classmates that are still living. (He was nearly 96 after all!) Aside from me, and Joel and his family, Stefan has 1 blood relative left, in England. – the lovely, lovely Sandra Brockman, who we met for the first time at our father’s 90th birthday party. (Sandra is the daughter of one of his 2 cousins who survived the war, though they both passed away years ago).

Until he broke his hip on July 8th of last summer, Dr. Stefan A. Carter lived at home alone, wonderfully content and happy, being surprised he had lived that long, trying to forever be “in the moment”, playing his beloved badminton games 2x/week, shopping, connecting with friends, and continually writing (though never finished) a new book he referred to as his “Opus” and that he entitled “The Holocaust and it’s Aftermaths: A Window into Human Nature.” In 2011 he published his memoire “From Warsaw to Winnipeg – A Personal Tale of Two Cities.” We are now looking forward to the new, and improved release of his memoire in April by the Azrieli Foundation - a company that specializes in publishing the stories of holocaust survivors. Our father died peacefully in his bed at home as he wanted, at good ‘ole 234 Elm Street – where Joel and I grew up.

Joel and I will remember him as a dear loving father, for a gentle man who was a wonderful example of compassion and respect, love, kindness, intelligence… as well as for the (infrequent) but memorable moments of frustration when we’d visit him at 234 Elm! We want to thank all the people who loved and helped him these many years. He loved you all.

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Tribute by his son, Joel Carter

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Our Dad ….

So our father Stefan died peacefully earlier this evening at home in Winnipeg – where he bought the house with my mother Emilee in 1958. He was born in 1928 in Warsaw Poland with a life story that amazes, and that he would say he owes to good people who did what they could to save him as an orphan 10 year old in the midst of the Holocaust and the Warsaw Ghetto. When asked what he owed his survival to he would say to people with good souls who did the right thing and that he had some luck when others did not.

His last few months and more so the last few weeks have been quite hard for him – but the universe blessed him with a soft landing on the other side – a ‘good death’ that anyone would take if it was offered. He mentioned to both Andrew and me that he wouldn’t want anything fancy – and just let people know that he went to the ‘Badminton Court in the Sky’ for celestial matches pending.

Both Andrew and I are aware of how fortunate we are at ‘our age’ to have had our dad into our middle years. Almost 96, active, independent and playing badminton until his accident and hip fracture in July – he was an example to us to how to take care of oneself, stay active and engaged with physical and creative endeavors. He tried as best he could to recover – with a few ceremonial badminton serves back at the court – but alas – like Federer – the ‘ageless wonder’ decided that enough was enough with no more badminton Cage Matches – so he formally retired with his lifetime achievement awards in the sport he loved and kept him going.

He was such a fellow of schedule and routine with self care - with love of music, the art, and sport. As many of you know – he survived the Holocaust, immigrated to Canada, married a New Yorker from Peekskill – our Mom Emilee – artist and English teacher. They did well to raise us in River Heights – and whether sports, music lessons, theater, love of dogs – did their due diligence to see that their two boys would be raised as free-thinkers for themselves with breath of diverse experiences that life offers and beckons.

He graduated from the Faculty of Medicine (class of 1954) at the University of Manitoba and was director of the Vascular Lab at St. Boniface Hospice in Winnipeg – with number leading edge research and book publications in Vascular Medicine – presenting internationally. He taught at the University of Manitoba Faculty of Medicine when I was going through Medicine – it was not good style points to skip any of his lectures as his son.

One of the most special moments at that time occurred when during a lecture of a prominent Vascular Surgeon – Dr. Allen Downs – with my dad present in the lower lecture theater – an obscure question was thrown out that no second-year-medicine student should have any business knowing. I shouted down the correct answer from the highest back row of the Theater – the crowd erupted and Dr. Downs was amazed. When identified as the culprit – I yelled down knowing my dad was in the front row “How about that second term tuition now, Dad?!!!” A moment for father and son to cherish for years to come – amongst so many.

He was a devoted husband who took care of our mother during her ill health – loyal and compassionate as he was with so many he met and contributed to care of so many Manitobans with peripheral vascular disease. He lectured and presented on the horror of the Holocaust with first-hand accounts and would often say given the on-going terrible and horrific happenings in the world – that he sadly did not hold out much hope for a species that continues to be so barbaric to it’s own kind. Yet he found joy and beauty in art, music and especially Mozart – with a beautiful, published work on the mystery of Mozart’s death, and his book on his journey from Warsaw to Winnipeg.

The last half year – has been challenging – and getting our dad back home and support would not be possible without the help, love, and caring of so many local friends and amazing home care services providers available in Winnipeg - including the occasional 'special forces & the heavy artillery' that had to be summoned for expertise and brought in (you know who you are ). Both Andrew and I cannot express enough our deep gratitude and thanksgiving to all – who in our absence due to distance with our homes in the US - called him, sent healing thoughts, visited, brought my dad food, time, stories and visits to lift his spirits and offer company when we could not be there. Both Andrew and I also owe our colleagues immense gratitude given our time away from work that was necessary and covered for us when we were trying to do the best for our father. I was also lucky to have former medical classmates who I could call for support of my dad, just sit for a visit and keep me sane - who I am forever indebted to – trying to balance being a son and palliative care doc – and who put up with me – you know who you are.

And to my brother – Andrew – both Dad and I are so lucky to have you. We all did well as Team Carter - muddling through the best we could these last few months. You made so much possible that helped with getting Dad home – which is always the best medicine. He will be so missed by so many.

I don’t how it would have been possible for me to help as much as I did without the love and support of this Uruguayan wife my mine who my dad loved and thought I was lucky to catch – Natalia, and my amazing Anouk and Alec – who will miss him dearly. What a Grandpa he was for you two.

In keeping with Carter Family Tradition – there will be no funeral.

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However - there will be a book launch of our Dad’s re-tooled new edition Warsaw to Winnipeg book - updated edited version on Monday April 17th at the Jewish Community Center in Winnipeg.

Quite the fellow he was.

Love you dad.

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ETHICAL DEATH CARE

Cremation & Life Celebrations

530 St. Mary Avenue - Winnipeg

204-421-5501 - www.ethicaldeathcare.com

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