Nothing has changed. The days are still empty and meaningless - without you. I'm still trying to make sense of your absence. My heart aches all the more, as time ticks on. Expressing all of this hurts more. Being quiet hurts. There's no place in mind nor heart that gives me comfort, since your death. This world and life is so flat and surreal without you.

The world feels empty since you left.  Meaningfulness is hard to find.  This life without you is hard to understand.  I miss you in every moment.  My Sweetness, my Love. 

Loving You, endlessly.  Missing you, always.  My heart hurts and is empty without You.  What is this world, this future - without You?  I can’t make sense of this emptiness.  Forever my Love.  💜❤️

My Sweetness - I don’t know how to be without you. 😞

The finality of your death does not seem real.  Nothing is right without you here.  How do I make that bearable, knowing you and I were to live our life, loving each other, to our very late graves?  Nothing makes sense here, without You, my Sweetness. 🥺😣😢💜❤️

My Sweetness, my Love. This world without you is small & hollow.  Without your presence, I question what it’s all for.  To grow old together was the plan.  And we had so many, MANY plans.  And now - without you - I feel so lost.  I love you, Scott.  Memories are not enough.   Your Girl, Dianne 💜💔

Each new day brings more heartache.  More bewilderment.  More sadness.  More feelings of loss, and feelings of being lost, in your perpetual absence.  The loss that impacted you - you lost everything.  Never to age, never again to love & live & experience more minutes and hours, days, months, & years.  I’m lost in this unwanted reality.  This life without You, my Sweetness, is flat and empty.  What do I do?  

I celebrate your 50th birthday today, for the fourth time (third time without you). This life, my Sweetness, is empty and hollow.  I miss you so fucking much.  I love you immensely & immeasurably, forever.  Always my Sweetness, always my Love.  Your Girl 😘💜

Every day contains hearbreak, grief, & lament.  I love you & I miss you, Scott, my Love, my Sweetness.  🥺😔

Your fourth 50th birthday is nearing.  I think of you throughout each day.  I miss you constantly.  It’s difficult to find any comfort in sleep, without you beside me.  Waking to another day, living in your very loud absence is heartbreaking.  I miss you, my Sweetness.  I love you forever.  ❤️💜

You are so very heartbreakingly missed, my Sweetness.  That your life ended is incomprehensible, at times.  I miss you, and us, and simply you being.  Just being.   ❤️💜💔💜

Time keeps passing, creating more distance from when you existed as mine, and me as yours.  My happiness and content left when you did.  I can’t muster any “happy”, and it all seems so pointless, without you to share it with.  I talk about you often so you’re not forgotten.  I think about you always.  Sometimes it feels like you’ve been gone hardly any time at all.  And sometimes it feels like forever, and more, since.  💜❤️🥺😢😞

I miss the warmth of your breath on my skin, leading up to you kissing me.  My Sweetness, my Love - every day without you - I am lost.   💋💔💜🥺

I don’t know how to BE without you.  Your absence is painful throughout every day.  Nothing gets easier.   I miss you so very much, Sweetness.  ❤️🥺

Missing you does not get easier with time.  Nothing is comfortable without you to share with.  All that matters is gone.  It left with you.  I miss you with all my heart & all my love, throughout every moment of each day.  I love you, my Sugrrr.  Forever. ❤️

My Sugrrr, my Sweetness.  I miss You - so soooo very much 😔

Another year ending, and your absence weighs on my heart.  The approach of each New Year brings the painful awareness of moving even further from when we existed together.  My love for you is constant.  I miss you so fucking much, my Sweetness.  ❤️💋

I want to visit places we spent time.  I want to stand quietly, close my eyes, & immerse myself in the memory of those moments.  I want it to feel like it did when we were there.   I’m also afraid to go to those places - because what if it overlaps and alters those memories that I hold of us?   Being in those places without you to reminisce with - may be more painful than never revisiting them ever again.   I’m lost, Sweetness.  “Loving you forever is easier than breathing…”💜💜

Love, my Love, my Sweetness, my Sugrrr 💜💜I miss you.  My heart aches constantly for You 💜💜

Time itself and this life without you seems unreal.  It feels like a handful of months since you died.  Sometimes it feels like staring down an endless tunnel, to when we were last together, holding hands and living & loving each other.  To make sense of your absence stretches my heart to places it resists to go.   I miss you, heartbreakingly.  I love you as always - immeasurably & indefinitely.  My Sweetness, my Love. 💜💗💋💋

I miss you more.  I need you, still.  I love you, always.  Every day without you makes no sense to me.  I love you, my Sweetness.  

My love for you is constant.  The pain of your absence grows as days come and go.  I don’t know what this life is, without You. 💜💜

Missing you is something that occupies my heart, my mind - every moment.  Every day you’re with me, in the familiar and the unfamiliar.  Remembering familiar moments.  Missing you in unfamiliar moments.   I love you more.   Your girl 💜💗

💗💜😘😘 Your kisses!! I miss your kisses.  I miss kissing your handsome face and feeling my cheek against yours.  I miss the warmth & love in your eyes.  I miss you sharing your life with me, and mine with you.  This existence is painfully empty and seemingly pointless without the “us”.  I love you, forever.  Your girl, Dianne 💜💜

Each day.  Every day.  Remembered.  Missed immensely.  Loved immeasurably.  Mourned endlessly.  I love you, my Sweetness.😘💜💜

Our 13th wedding anniversary today.  Without You beside me.  My husband, my Love.  I long for you, in every moment.  Every day.  💜💜

Two short years ago today was your last heartbeat.  My heart aches more intensely now than ever. 

I close my eyes and I feel your kiss on my lips, hear your voice in my heart, feel your squeezy hand in mine.  I miss you in each glance around our home, every familiar place we were together.  Thoughts of you are in every moment of my every day.  Always loving you, always missing you.  Your Girl xoxo xoxo 💗💜

Time is not measured the same without you, my Sweetness.  Always it feels like only a handful of months since your death.  Your absence has become more pronounced and more difficult with each passing day, week, month.   My love for you is steadfast, true & forever.  I love you, my husband.  Forever.  For always.   Your wife, Dianne Montague

Dedicated to Thomas Scott Montague March 20 1971,  October 9, 2021Together again, August 12, 2023.  Finally my dad can rest knowing his son is by his side. My Son When we played beside the waterWhen we built castles in the sand.When I tickled your tummy and heard your happy laughI NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME THAT I CAN HARDLY STAND. WE frolicked in the leaves together one bright October dayI didn't know another October would come and take you away.My son the glory of my life. To spend another minute with youI would go through any strife. My tears are always flowingand my love for you is great.I pray that we will be togetherfor which I can not wait. With all my love forever            Dad ❤️together again❤️

Dedicated to Thomas Scott Montague March 20 1971,  October 9, 2021 They met one another again, August 12, 2023. Finally my dad can rest knowing exactly where his son is.  By his side.  My Son When we played beside the waterWhen we built castles in the sand.When I tickled your tummy and heard your happy laughI NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME THAT I CAN HARDLY STAND. WE frolicked in the leaves together one bright October dayI didn't know another October would come and take you away.My son the glory of my life. To spend another minute with youI would go through any strife. My tears are always flowingand my love for you is great.I pray that we will be togetherfor which I can not wait. With all my love forever            Dad ❤️Together again❤️

Immense love & immense pain existing in the same moment is a reality I wish I did not know.   We were to grow old together.   I miss you, my Sweetness, & lament your death & your loss with every breath.  You had so much more living to do 💜💗

I miss You.  I miss Us.  I love You.  This life without You is existence, nothing more.  Meaning has dropped away from so much, without You to share with.   Sweetness, You are in my every moment.  I carry You with me throughout each day.  Your wife, Dianne Montague💜💜

I miss you more & more.  I feel numb to this life without You.  My love for You exists in every moment.  Remembering You each day is easy, as little time has passed in my heart since you’ve died.  I love You, my Sweetness.  💗💗💜💜

When I stare at your picture and remember how it was to touch your skin, hear your voice, feel your presence beside me - my lungs empty of  breath.  I feel hollow, and the reality of your death shocks through me, as it always does in these moments of reflection.  Over and over again.  I don’t know what to do without you. I love you and I miss you so damned much, my Sweetness.  💜💜

Your absence is felt constantly.  Thoughts of You touch everything throughout my days.  These days should be ours, not mine alone.  I miss You.  I love You forever, my Sweetness.  💜💜

💗I love you, forever.  I bring you with me everywhere I go.  You’re with me every moment of each day.  I make certain you’re always remembered.  I think about you constantly.  I miss you so fucking much.  💗

I love you, still.  I miss you, always.  My whole self is so very unfamiliar to me, without you.  I’m missing you every day.  What is this life without You, Sweetness? 💜💜

Sweetness - I love You & I miss You so immensely. 🥺😢💜💜

My handsome sweetness.  I miss you constantly.  I lose you again - in every moment that I think of you, over & over, throughout every single day.  That you’re not here to live, to grow old together, to enjoy this life we made - that hurts the most. 💜💋

I love you, still.  I miss you,  always.  I talk of you often.  I cannot leave you behind.  You’re mine, & I am Yours.  I love you, Sweetness 💜🥺

I remember you every day.  I miss you every moment.  I love you forever.  My husband, my partner, my best friend. My lover, my sweetness, my man. All my love ~ Dianne 💜💗

I miss you immensely.  You deserved to grow old alongside me, with our home full of dogs. I can’t make sense of this life without you. I love you forever, my Sweetness, my Love, my Husband, my Everything. 💜💃🏻🕺💜

Oh, how I miss you, Scott, my sweetness, my Love!! I wanted you to grow old alongside me, to care & love each other, forever.  I wish things were different - as you’d say to me.  I wish that, too.  I miss you & I love you & I can’t make sense of this world without you to live it with.  My heart aches for You. 💜💜 your wife, Dianne

💜I remember you so vividly throughout each day.  The many sweet, tiny kisses we shared throughout each day, the warmth of your skin, the sound of your voice, your bodily essence & scent that drew me in & made me yours. I miss you intensely, immensely & it hurts to be without you so very much.   I love you - then, now & forever, my sweetness. 😘🥰 Your Girl, your love, your wife, Dianne. 

Nothing is easy without You.  Every day - I think of you, feel your absence, lament your death.  You deserved so much more of everything.  To live happily & grow old, with your hand wrapped around mine.  I love You forever.  My Sweetness, my Love, my Husband & my best friend.   💜💜 your wife, always Dianne Montague

I miss you so very much, my Sweetness, my Love.  💜😞

My heart aches for Your presence.  For the “you & me”, together forever, as we’d planned.  What is this life - without you to love? 💜💜

I miss you.  Simply. Wholly.  Immensely.  I love you forever.  I close my eyes & feel your cheek against mine, your lips kissing mine.  I remember how our hands locked together.  Life seems pointless without you to share it with.  I talk about you often.  I think about you always.  I love you endlessly.  USTA!!! 

I wear Your wedding band right beside mine.  I feel numb to the belief that You’ve died.  I understand the why & the how, but I don’t understand the endless & steady shock of the reality of a life without You.  You deserved our happily ever after, our together forever, our strong & quiet & deep love.   I remember You all day, every day.  I miss You in every moment.  I love You endlessly.  Always your girl, your wife - Dianne Montague💔💜

💜 I dream of you often. I miss you so fucking much, my Love.  I can’t find my way in this life without you.  Everything hurts so much. 💜🥺

Today I thought I’d share my favourite memory of you but realized they’re all my favourite.  First I wanna thank you for all the late nights, early mornings and foolish experiences over the years. You always had a smile and cheesy line for any situation. You could find humour in everything we did. You were generous with your time and patient even when we didn’t deserve it.  Cheers my friend

A second birthday without you, & I miss you more & more.  Always my Sweetness, always your Girl, XOXOXOXO💗💜💋😔

My sweetness, my love…❤❤❤❤

I miss you, my Sweetness 🥺❤

I miss you so very much, my Love.  My Sweetness.  My husband.  I need you.  Forever your wife. 

Each day takes me further in time from the existence of “us”.  It’s an uncomfortable feeling.  The New Year approaches & I don’t wish to greet another without you.  I miss you, always.  I love you - forever.  💗💜 your wife, Dianne